Do you remember high school? I am not talking about remembering every class you had or every teacher who taught you. What I mean is do you remember what it was like in high school? I do. In high school I knew who pretty much everyone was. Sometimes you know their name and other times you know them as “the short girl with the purple glasses.” You at least know who everyone is, even if you don’t talk to them.

I was always a friendly and talkative person. I was the girl in every class that the teacher had to tell to quiet down and stop distracting other students. It wasn’t that I was being disrespectful. I am always respectful. It was just that I love people and I love to talk to people!

I would walk down the halls of high school waving and smiling at almost everyone. When I went to tennis tournaments I would meet at least one person at every meet. There were always jokes to be made and fun to be had. It did not matter what group you went to prom with. Everyone would talk to everyone (unless a certain group felt they were “too cool”). My point here is that you saw everyone everyday. There was no choice in the matter. These people your age were going to be in your life for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I considered many of those people as my friends.

College

After high school came college. Now, I only went away to college for one year. It was a really great year! I absolutely loved going away to school! Sadly, I could not afford to stay away. However, some of my greatest memories were there. I also met some of my very favorite people there. I did not have as many friends as I did in high school, but I still had quite a few. My social life was doing pretty well. Every weekend I had some sort of plans with friends. In fact, I had to plan out at least one day a semester where I turned my phone off and had a day for myself without any friends.

One of the greatest friends I had would go on picnics in the park with me some afternoons. We also planned a time to go ice skating and look at Christmas lights. Another great friend of mine would take me on drives around town on random evenings. Then, there was a friend who would simply sit and talk with me. There were random moments where I would go out with a bunch of friends to just see where the night took us. We had our stupid young moments. It was really great!

Moving back home

At this point of my life I am living at home again. Every Tuesday and Thursday I drive up to a local university to finish my degree. I have learned that if you commute to your school, then you probably aren’t going to make very many friends. Sure, there are friendly conversations with people. Most everyone is civil. It just isn’t the same as it once was. I work a lot. My schedule is busy. My neighbors simply are not in the same stage of life as I am.

The point I am getting at is that I do not have all that many friends anymore. I had tons at one point, but now it is pretty much just me living in this area. It is lonely sometimes. There are moments when I just want to go to the zoo with someone. However, there is no one to go with. My friends now have moved, are married, or live too far to hang out with. There is no one to simply go get ice cream with. I have begun feeling more like a loner.

Life as a loner

Don’t worry about me when I say that. I am not super depressed and sulking in my room. Every now and then I still get out of the house. I’ll go to the zoo – by myself. That may sound weird to some people, but I am okay doing things alone. I will go out to eat by myself, too. This is my life now. This is what I mean by loner. I am a loner. I still do things that I enjoy, I just do them alone.

Am I the only one like this? Yes, I have accepted my life as it is, but there are moments I wish it were different. I have never considered myself a loser. I may have my dorky moments, but people seem to enjoy my company. That is, when there are people around to enjoy it. How did I get to this point? Where did all of my friends go? I was warned about this part of life. People told me my friends would only be temporary. I guess I just didn’t realize the extent of it. 

This use to keep me down and sad. I spent many nights crying myself to sleep. All I wanted were friends to laugh and hang out with. Now, I am okay. I have friends, they just aren’t next door. There are people who care about me, I just have to call or FaceTime them. God really has blessed me with much. I do not take any of it for granted. This “no friend” thing just kinda caught me off guard.

Do not get discouraged about where you are in life. God knows what He is doing. He promises to take care of those who love Him. Trust that. Trust Him. Maybe this is your time to learn how to accept more people into your life. Maybe this is a time for you to get alone with God and grow closer to Him. I am not God, so I can’t say that I understand everything. All I know is that God as always taken care of me. There are many times that I did not know what He was doing, but I now see how it all worked out. When things get really lonely remember that you are loved greatly by Someone who knows all you are meant to be and adores you.